Category: Ma'am

    

     I always get annoyed every time someone calls me "Dai" (usually addressed to young girls). I'm a grown-up, for crying out loud! One time I took a cab and I almost refused to respond to the driver when asked where I wanted to be dropped off, "Asa ta dai?". And in my mind, I had choked the guy. 

    Since I came home here in the province, I have found myself going to the market often and each time I buy something, whether I ask, pay or the store owner hands me something, I am already being addressed as Ma'am. How cool is that? 😗   

    Just 3 days ago, I went to get some ingredients for my Utan bisaya. On my way, i traveled using our Mamachari bicycle. I then wore a small sun hat which I imagined looking like a teenage girl. Then came some small talk with this lady at the store, I can recall her saying "Ma'am" three wonderful times. LOL.

   While I try to enjoy this new salutation, I also cant help but think that I must have aged physically, which I don't mind; we all go there. 

    So, as the kids say nowadays, "Achievement Unlocked", truly I've unlocked it. Haha! And this story may seem silly to many, but this just means so much to me, so quit judging me. :D

This Year's 13th of June

 

    Yesterday’s 13th of June was okay but there is always something about my birthday that just brings me down. Today I get to reflect a little and I'd like to talk about the things I’m still appreciative of and for (I just don't know what to use, lol).

    Appreciate is such as an overuse word at home, heck, you should ask my dogs. I tell them that all the time. When they eat their food and I see a clean bowl, when they stay for cuddles, when I call them and they come quickly and most importantly when I tell them something and and they look me in the eye like they know what I'm talking about. I'd say “Thank you Chin”, (Chin is one the dogs at home) followed by the reason and usually the sentence ends with “Na appreciate jud nako”. And the way I say the word appreciate is something that my family finds amusing but it’s just how I feel like saying it, that in my sincerest way. Aaahhh-pre-cheeee-yyaaatee.

    Today I’d like to express my appreciation to someone who had made my birthday extra special, its Mom. I've lost count of the hugs I received from her, just from yesterday alone. On the eve of my birthday just before 12am we were both awake and I received the first hug accompanied with a short happy birthday song. The last one was given minutes before midnight of June 14th. Why am I thankful for hugs? I had friends and even acquaintances in the past who don't get hugs that often from their Moms and Dads for reasons I still don't know. A lot of them also lost theirs early, so the more grateful I am for the XOXOs. 

    Id like to say thank you Mom for trying to show a straight face despite knowing how I’m aching inside. I’ve stopped working about a year ago when the pandemic hit and all the wrong feelings just came to me. I became the person (although I’ve expected the worse) I didn’t want myself to be. 

    I'd like to show my appreciation to Mom for not refusing a single request for a half gallon of ice cream. Every single time I ask for ice cream, Mom hasn’t turned it down. And that’s for a whole year since I’ve stayed at home. I also ask for the super thick variety which cost more but not an ugly word from Mom. LOL

    Id like to thank Mom for not complaining for me being out of job. “Don’t rush things” she’d say. “I like that you are home” and sometimes she'd make it sound nicer by adding things like, how she likes my cooking and that she prefers I stay longer.

    I’d like to thank Mom for being the most patient person during countless of occasions when I just didn't have the energy to stay up in the morning. Unknowingly, I’ve cried myself during the night or I’ve watch a movie or series and that I have drained all my energy by staying up till dawn. 

    Lastly I’d like to thank Mom for vocally telling the words “You Have Me” when I ran out of funds to buy some things we needed at home. Although that was something I didn’t need to hear, it was the most reassuring words any unemployed child would love to get from a parent. I'm quite sure that statement was more than just finances talk, it was more than that, I'm sure of it. lol. I'm not entirely proud as I'm no longer a kid, I don't deserve any of these but since that day I've consoled myself from some horrible thoughts and I've been feeling better. 

    June 2020 was the start of the worst possible things that could happen into my life. I’ve lost my friends, I lost the city life I enjoy, I lost my job, I’ve lost the emotional equilibrium I’ve worked so hard. But I've survived, I’ve managed to swim and live. That, because I have an understanding family and a supportive Mom. She’s the most compassionate and kind person and I’m very lucky to have her.

    So happy Birthday still, to me from me. :D and I'll get a job soon.

~~~~

My Gomphrena Thoughts

 

There are nights that I cry and I become very emotional

I have this fear

The fear of not waking up

The fear that it could be my last

I always fear for those that i leave behind

To the people who have always been kind

The nights they will be grieving and the scar of my passing, it'll will be leaving.

Death will eventually come and it isn't something that I'm terrified of

But i fear for those i love dearly,

To spare them the agony, i begged this to God clearly

I wish to tell them for the last time my gratitude and for sticking around despite some of my occasional attitude

In the afterlife, I wish for an ability to ease those in pain

Maybe a power to cast it easily using the rain

I don't want to leave now,

There must be a way to know if my time is up somehow

I would want this not only for me but for everyone

for a sudden death of a loved one can be painful to anyone.

These are the thoughts that haunt me at night.

and I can only wish to those I value,

Get to hold them, so tight.

A Chance To Say Goodbye

 

    I just realized that Mom's phone performs better for Astrophotography, so, to I took the courage again to go outside in the middle of the night. You know what, it was all worth it! I got some great shots of the galactic core. Now I just have to learn stacking to improve the quality of my photos. 

Seeing the sky like this still feels like the first time but I also wouldn't deny that I'm still a little frightened too. 

May 17, 2020

Last 3 photos are all from May 20. 

     Finally saw you after days of rain, too much cloud and my fear of going out at midnight. 

     My first photo of the Galactice Core taken at 3:30AM. I feel something inside. Is this what they call pure bliss?

"Take a look inside my heart and you'll see

I have so much to give. Believe in me."

-David Benoit

~~~~~

Magenta skies, just after today's sunset.  

 

April's Pink Full Moon (Mine wasn't pink at all, lol)

    I've been looking forward for this year's April Pink Moon.  After much practice attempting to capture the moon using my android phone, I figured I needed a more powerful lens (not that my camera had the best) to capture the details of my subject and get the correct settings (higher ISO, Shutter Speeds) which wasn't available on my mobile phone. 

    Just recently, I learned the basics of Astrophotography and learned that although the moon and the stars are both seen in the night sky, they use different camera settings for capturing. It was complex and I got overwhelmed learning these new stuff. This time I am too too eager to capture the galactic core and hopefully I will, this summer. 

    These are the photos I took just before the April 27 Pink Full Moon.  The Sunset yesterday was breathtaking as usual and the other things that made it even better -- dogs, calm sea and not a soul that bothered me. 

The Pink Full Moon. I wasn't entirely proud of how the photos turned out. Out of the 60-ish shots i took, these are better looking. Need to study hard, i guess. 

Plumeria means summer and the need for a good camera.

    Its been a long time since I've last used a DSLR to capture photos. However I noticed our Plumeria has started blooming. As much as I wanted close up shots and more details but the tree has gotten so tall now. So I did the best thing -- charged some batteries,  I searched for the almost couldn't be found SD card, and, finally mounted the camera to my Benro tripod. Below are some the photos I took :D

 

 

Hello from our Yuyon. 💗

What my day looks like lately.

 With lockdown, most of us are left with no choice but to keep ourselves productive inside homes otherwise, we are all going to lose our minds and God forbid we go through some more miseries. We've had enough this 2020.

    My day in a photo.. or two? Ukulele playing, music, books, journaling at night and a interfering cat from time to time. 

Happy International Cat Day!

 

My bosses.. and as their slave, I have to blog about it. Love you, two!

 (a knife is currently being pointed at my neck by a cat)

Comeback is Real!

     I've been seeing these words often lately "Comeback is Real". Turns out its being widely used by Mobile Legends players so I'm getting on the bandwagon by declaring that I'm back but with no interest in playing ML. I'm back to blogging and ready to overshare things again here in the world wide web. So, Hello!

This Year's 13th of June

    Today, while at work, almost 5 people yelled at me, and yet, I still have to apologize for something I didn't do. How cruel is that. When I checked my phone after work, I received a message from someone I never thought would even communicate and a flower bouquet was handed by someone really close to my heart. Today, I also received a few well wishes, greetings that I felt were sincere and lots of really tight hugs from my friends.

    Right now, I'm looking at the breathtaking panorama I get from my workplace and and I see a very sunny 13th of June. I was made aware its been raining in the northern area. I just realized I'm still very blessed and that my life isn't that bad after all.